Baking Burn Out and Kindness

My loves! This month has been CRAAAZY to the nth degree 😳 honestly I’m surprised I’m still standing. I’ve had orders coming from left, right, and centre, a new puppy in the mix, a 10 year old daughter that is going on 16, and my own mental health and trying to get diagnosed for ADHD…. BUUUT, it’s also looking up in so many ways. And I’m so thankful, and so grateful. Because life is good my guys. I have no complaints…actually that’s just a big fat lie. Because my Lordy I have complaints. I’m not sure if it’s just because I’ve been SOOO run off my feet, but the last few weeks…I have been having far too many thoughts about giving up cakes altogether and I’m triggered. My very spiritual side and higher self is telling me that I’m triggered because there’s some unresolved issues in the midst, but then my ego is telling me that that’s bullshit and I’m triggered because so many people are just so so entitled, and rude, and ignorant. Today especially I just feel like throwing in the towel altogether. I’m just DONE, ya know? Like, why do I always have to take the high road? Always. I want to be mean, and bitchy and tell everyone what’s on my mind and tell them where to go and for once bring them down to the level that they’re trying to bring me down to…but I know that will get me now where…and it’s really not who I am and what I’m all about. It doesn’t really make me feel good hurting others…I digress

I have some AMAZING clients. 90 percent of the time, my customers are fantastic. Legit, good people. Others, I can take on an order and then my gut says ‘don’t do it, this one will give you grief’ but I do it anyway. And guess what? My higher self ALWAYS says ‘told ya so!’ Because they turn out to be nightmares. So I’m listening to her lately. My higher self that says ‘Carrie, you get to dictate how people are going to treat you. You get to take that dreaded high road and leave them to it. You make the decisions about your business, BECAUSE it’s YOUR business!

In the last few weeks these have been some of my conversations with people and really a guide on what not to say to your baker/decorator. My aim here is not be bitchy, or mean. I just know that I’m not the only baker that goes through this. Cakes are our livelihood, it’s not a joke, it’s HARD work! We’re just asking for a little bit of respect, simple. So here you go. My list of grievances most of us cakers deal with on a daily…and a guide on how to be more kind and just a little bit more enlightened the next time you’re ordering a cake 🥰

1. ‘Wow! That’s so expensive for a cake! I LOVE this one 🙄 One, how RUDE!!! Do you EVER think about the time and ingredients it takes to make a cake?! And if it’s just a cake…make it yourself! Two…imagine me going in to your work and asking to speak to your boss about how I think you earn too much for what you do. It’s insulting. Straight up. Don’t do it! It’s f@&king INFURIATING!

2. ‘Show up an hour late to collect your cake’ I KNOW life happens. I know we all can be running late. If you call me, text me. I’m way way way more understanding. If you just don’t show up at said time, that’s rude. Despite what you may believe…I do actually have a life outside of my home. I have errands to run, I have kids to collect and drop off at school, I have a dog to walk and even if I am home..my time is so so precious to me. If I expect you at a certain time, I won’t turn start vacuuming my stairs at that point. I won’t hit play on my work out, I won’t start mixing another batter with my loud as balls mixer! I will wait until you’ve collected your cake so I can carry on with my day.

3. Do NOT ASSUME that I will be delivering your cake. My husband and I share our car..I work from home, therefore 99 percent of the time. He will have the car. If you absolutely need your cake delivered, I am MORE than happy to oblige if and where I can. But if you text me wondering where your cake is…and you thought I was delivering, and not having once supplied your address?! Then there’s very little chance I would have assumed you’d want me to deliver in the first place. I mean….C’MON!!!!

4. I will not, and legally CANNOT use your products. Please don’t ask me to use your ingredients. I won’t. My recipes are my own. I know which products work for me, and unless you have an allergy or intolerance etc, I will only use the products I know, and know work well with my recipes. And absolutely never will I make you 6 + different flavoured cake samples using the ingredients you’ve supplied. Unless you’re willing to buy every sample I’ve made in each different flavour?! For real?….Guys…

5. I have a non refundable retainer for a reason! It goes towards the cost of your cake, and I take it so I don’t have time wasters, and that I can reserve your place and not book 5 more cakes in at the same time. If you decide you no longer need or want the cake, then I will quite happily move your date, although this is because I’m too nice. Most times I’ll even return it. But please realise that it’s non refundable for a reason. I’m not being a greedy bitch, but I have ingredients to buy for your cake too. I’ve had to let other people down in order to make your cake…so no, you can’t get it back…or then I’m out of pocket. Big time.

6. I don’t provide sketches for your cakes. Unless it a wedding cake, I might bring out my sketchpad. Drawing and sketching takes me a very long time, unless you want that added to the cost of your cake, you’re just going to have to take my word on it and take a look at my previous work to get an idea of what your cake might look like. I promise it will be nicer than any sketch I could scribble up anyway.

7. A message the day before your cake is due is welcome by all means…a message 3 weeks before your cake is due asking how your cake is coming along? Just no. One. That puts the absolute fear in me and my heart will fall out my arsehole thinking I’ve forgotten your order. 2…how long do people think a cake lasts?!!! I mean, Jeeepers. I don’t even think a Tesco’s finest Cake has a 3 week long shelf life. My cakes are baked the day before, 2 days before I decorate them MAX. 😅

8. I don’t love giving sneak previews of my cakes. You just gotta wait til the big reveal. Mostly because I’ll be working on your cake in to the wee hours. My cake room will look like the place has been ransacked, and when I’m in the zone. I cannot stop and do something else like take pictures. Mostly because there’s barely any room let alone a tidy bit of room! Also…a lot of the time, my creative juices start flowing as soon as I’m staring at a blank canvas. Not always , but I work that way a lot. I don’t always have a design in my head weeks before. It’s just how I’ve always worked.

Guys. When we call an electrician to come in and do work, we never ever question their prices. We pay them. When you make a reservation at a restaurant…do you show up when you feel like it? So why do it with us? Because we work from home…because it’s just cake? Why is my job any less valuable. I still have bills to pay, just like everyone else. Just think about this the next time you order a custom made, bespoke cake. It costs absolutely NOTHING to be kind. And kindness goes a LONG way. I’m just a small business trying to make ends meet. Being humble and kind, it matters x

If you’ve read this far. I appreciate you. Thank you for reading my wee rant. It’s been weighing on my mind too much, and I just couldn’t let it go this time 🙈 So I’m going to now have a hot cup of coffee, and a good cry. Put on my big girl pants, and breathe. Because I know I’m luckier than most. By a lot. And if horrible people are the worst of my problems right now? I’ll just give my puppy some extra cuddles and know that at least she loves me 🥰❤️ And that’s ok with me.

I’m making a list of recipes that I want to share with y’all so I’ll get those in my next few posts. They’ll include my Blueberry Cheesecake recipe, as well as Raspberry Shortbread bars! So so easy and incredibly delicious. Love and light my guys! Lots and lots of love and light x

Honey Bee Cake and How To Make it