Cakes by Carrie-Anne

Little Audrey’s has hit the road!

This still feels so surreal to me. A childhood dream of opening my own little bakery..has finally come to fruition. Albeit in a mobile cafe as opposed to brick and mortar, but that doesn’t phase me. At all. This feels more free. Much less pressure, and I put enough of that on myself on a daily basis.

It’s taken a few years for Little Audrey’s to take shape. Setback after setback, self doubt, getting complacent, and just life in general. Then a few weeks ago, I’d just had enough. So I told Kyle that I was setting a date, and that was that! My little boy was over the moon, he’s been the MOST excited about this and he’s even planning ‘home’ lunches on a Thursday so that he can spend it with me at Little Audrey’s ❤️ he spent the morning helping me clean the kitchen, pack up the goodies and was up front with me in the car as we followed Kyle towing the trailer. Driving behind Little Audrey’s was so emotional, I looked over at my boy trying to hold back the tears and he looked over at me and was welling up too and said ‘there’s a big lump in my throat. It’s finally here! I’m so proud of you, mom!’ And that in itself is enough to make any momma cry!

When we arrived at our new site it just felt right. We started to set up and the generator powered up but there was no electricity. Kyle was freaking out a bit but I was so calm. And I said ‘it will be fine. Today is the day it’s meant to happen, and I’ve been talking to my gran (Little Audrey) for all the help she can give, I know she’s here.’ And she was. Because although it was a very bumpy start, it was meant to be that way. If it wasn’t for our fantastic neighbours who took time out of their Sunday to come and help, we never would’ve got the cafe open. That was such a lovely heartwarming experience in itself.

I didn’t advertise for a reason, I wanted to go in slow and steady. Test the waters, get a feel for how I wanted things to be, and to just see what more needed to be done for the days that I would need it. At the end of the day, we came out of that trailer with a list of things to work on, and we still got way more customers than I anticipated. So for all that went wrong, it was so worth it, and very right as well.

I’ve decided now that I will be out twice a week to start, the menu will be somewhat limited until I can get a system in place that works for me. Because I do all the baking myself, I don’t want to bite off more than I can chew…I do that far too much. I’m learning my limits…slowly but surely 😜 And I’m still crazy busy with candle orders so I need to also accept that I am just one person and I can’t in fact, do it all. And that’s ok.

So for the time being I will be setting up in the small parking lot on Culloden Avenue just off of Barn Church Rd, next to Barn Church. I’m aiming for every Thursday and Sunday from 11am and from there we will play it by ear!

I’m so excited to start bringing my baked goods and coffees to Culloden, and I’m definitely going to go back to my pastry school days and bring some French classics to Inverness! So if you’re in the area don’t hesitate to come and see me for a hot cup of soup and homemade focaccia, or a Blueberry Streusel muffin and Cappucino, or an Earl Grey Tea and a Fruit and Custard Tart ❤️ I can guarantee it’s all delicious, and all plant based 🌱

Slowly but surely…

I have been in a somewhat low mood over the past few months…but it came to an all time low a couple of weeks back. I now realise that this downward spiral really kicked off after having the health inspector do the final check-over on Little Audrey’s. While listening to them pick out every flaw, ‘You’ve had a year to do this’, to my husband ‘She can’t be easy to live with’, ‘why are you making this so much more difficult than it needs to be?’, ‘You’re making cakes and candles?! Pick one, you can’t do all of this!’, ‘if you’re lucky enough to succeed with vegan cakes…’ oh my gosh…when they left I felt absolutely attacked and defeated, and shamed. And although Little Audrey’s had passed the inspection (signed off as READY TO GO!! Squeeee!) I didn’t feel like celebrating. I was still reeling. And no matter how much I tried to convince myself that this was just their way and it was absolutely nothing personal….I do not take criticism well. It hurts me a LOT. It’s something I now know that is often associated with ADHDER’s. Its called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). No amount of logic will change this. It’s just another form of emotional dysregulation (ED) an extremely common ADHD trait. It’s the way our brains are structured…And it sucks!

So I take all that is said, to heart. And it eats at me for way longer than most people think and feel is necessary. But I get anxious, and hurt, embarrassed, self conscious, and so incredibly ashamed. Then I just want to throw in the towel because now I’m overthinking every single word…and it’s all too much. So instead of getting excited…I am feeling drained, and lethargic, and just depressed. And I do all the self talk to get me out of it, but here I am almost 3 weeks later feeling upset that it’s still bothering me. Then I get ANGRY and fed up with myself for wallowing. It irritates the hell out of me, and it’s EXHAUSTING.

I’m tired of trying to pretend I have it all together. I’m tired of the overthinking, the people pleasing, the self doubt, the second guessing. I’m tired of the procrastinating, and all the unfinished projects, the self loathing, the depression. I’m tired of the body dysmorphia, the masking, the meltdowns, the harsh words that I let slip. I’m tired of the guilt, the indecisiveness, the paralysis. I’m tired of apologising, and losing EVERYTHING, I’m just tired of having ADHD. Most days I go to bed with a headache because it’s like the thoughts themselves create such chaos that it physically hurts. The fatigue is next level. And I’m always tired. Because regardless of how little I do in a day…my mind is ALWAYS on the go.

I know it’s not all bad. But when it is. It’s all of this. And more. It’s accepting that I will always need to work on a system to make my life work. It means constantly battling my brain to get things done. It’s about accepting that I’m sensitive, and because of this the overwhelm of just being, becomes unbearable. I am constantly making excuses for everyone else’s behaviour, yet I don’t give myself the same understanding and love and acceptance.

It’s been 2 years since I was diagnosed and I’m struggling now more than ever. And I despise that. When I first received my diagnosis I was thrilled that I could finally start to make sense of who I am! (T Rex arms is an ADHD trait?!!!)🦖 It was such a beautiful thing…I had no idea that it would be such a struggle to adapt and re learn everything that does and doesn’t work for me. I am angry at myself for being so self pitying…and I’m angry that at 38 years old I have to re learn how to cope and strategise in order to make my life easier for myself and everyone in it. I have to learn my triggers, and I am setting boundaries. I’m learning when to notice the signs of sensory overload and when I need to leave the room and take a breather before I hurt those around me with my sharp tongue. I’m learning that I’m allowed to have a break and say no. That if I need an hour or 2 to myself, I can do that as well. That resting is not equivalent to failure, and that my perception of success is my own, and it’s not going to look the same for everyone.

Every day I do a little bit more to get closer to my goals. And I’m constantly trying to convince myself that I’m enough. Deep down. I know I am. And then I have my wee firecracker of a son who asked the other day why I was upset. And when I tell him that everyone around me seems to be getting their businesses up and running before my eyes, and this should be me…he so wisely says ‘but mom, you don’t know how long it’s taken them…and you are doing so many other things too!’ And my husband chimes in and says ‘and you don’t know their financial situation, we’ve had no hand outs, all the money we earn is being put back in to the business..they might be getting financial help from parents or family…so of course it’s going to take us a bit more time.’ And both of them are absolutely right. Patience is again not a virtue I have. I want things done yesterday. And I also know that when I do succeed, and I will (!!)The rewards will be that much sweeter ❤️

In the meantime, I’ve been working on my garden. Planting seeds, painting the fence, digging, tending, and being. It brings me an overwhelming sense of peace, and joy, and lots of self love…and some back ache 😣 I’m creating a sanctuary that I can retreat to when I need to calm my mind and feed my soul. Because it can’t be all about work. Rest is vital. And balance is key! Something I’m learning that isn’t just for everyone else. I need it just as much…if not more than most 😮‍💨❤️

So Little Audrey’s will absolutely be on the road SHORTLY! We’re literally sorting out the van (it decided to die on us) and then I’ve just got to figure out where I’m going to be and I will let you guys know! And actually typing this out has made me inhale sharply. Because really, as soon as the van is fixed. Little Audrey’s is well and truly ready to take off 😳😅 Taking a break from cakes to get everything sorted has been tough but very much needed to get things moving. So watch this space!!!

Love and light my guys! Don’t forget to make a batch of my gorgeous Vegan Hot Cross Buns!! I’m making them this evening for my eldest…but substituting the raisins for chocolate chips of course 🥰

Burnout and Re evaluations

I am officially at burnout. It’s taken me a long time to realise it. Of course I’ve known I’ve been doing too much, and not sleeping enough, and all that jazz, but the last couple of weeks my work life has been relatively quiet. My husband has annual leave so I took that opportunity to not book as many cakes in. So I figured this much needed quiet time will do the world of good. Except now after 2 weeks of doing a lot of nothing much at all, the thought of ‘going back’ to work next week is giving me the most anxiety. I feel like I’m still needing so much more time off. I just don’t want to do anything. I’m slipping back in to this godawful depression and that scares the living shit out of me, but at the same time. I just don’t care. I’m just so tired.

Burnout is quite a regular occurrence with ADHD. But this time…this time feels like the time I was at my worst emotional and mental health 7 years ago. I see myself falling in to the same habits. Habits of just trying to survive. I’m not a napper. I wish I could be, but my mind and body doesn’t allow it. But today I slept for hours on the couch. I’ve burst in to tears for countless times in the last two days. I’m an incredibly emotional person, I get teary eyed over a lot of things, but there’s always a reason. So when I’m crying out of the blue and not being able to put a finger on the reason why, napping to get past the feelings…but then at the same time feeling the most amount of numbness, I definitely get worried.

It’s also a good chance to start getting back to meditating, to go within and do the soul work. And I’m really hopeful that this is the breaking point I need to get focused again. I was reading that burnout can last anywhere from 3 months to a year…if not more. I just can’t. The last serious burnout I had is not the place I want to be in again. It was a dark, and scary place to be. And I was there for a very long time. I’ve never ever in my life blacked out from drinking, but I know what people mean when they say that, because when I was at my lowest, there are times in that period that I actually can’t remember. There was no drink or medication involved, it was just my mind trying so hard to push the pain away. Fight or flight. This time though I think…I hope, that I have the tools to get past it without getting to that incredibly dark place.

But my bedroom will once again become my haven, my sacred space, and I’m going to focus on getting to that right frame of mind. I’m going to remember that work and money is not worth the mental anguish, and I’m going to work on my goals and dreams in my own time. I’m going to cry, and feel the hurt, and pain and emotional anguish of not feeling loved, and good enough. When I feel like life hasn’t been fair to me, I will embrace that too and release it knowing full well that these are the life lessons that I have to go through. And one day I might just fully accept that I don’t need to believe that I’m an awful person who deserves this mental anguish because of the awful things I do and have done. I will remind myself daily that I am enough, and it also means I really don’t need to let the little things get to me. Burnout can be a blessing in disguise. I’m thankful I can see that through the veil of darkness.

So please bare with me with I try to get back to messages, and emails, etc. Today I’ve been on the couch in my oversized hoodie and blanket, watching Disney plus and drinking copious amounts of tea ❤️ I see a lot of this happening in the near future…trying to give at least one fuck. Thank god for my friend Kerry who books Waggtails sessions for the dogs so I have to get my ass moving and out the door 😜

I think we all need to take a step back and reevaluate our lives every so often. Make sure we know what’s important. I don’t want money to be a factor in my everyday happiness. I don’t want that to control my thoughts daily. I have enough. I am blessed, and if I don’t have my health…what’s the point?!

In the next few weeks, I’m going to focus on creating my menu for Little Audrey’s. I’m going to try all the sandwich and panini recipes that I want to include, and all the bars and bakes that I’ve been collecting and creating in my head that I want to bring to life. Not because I have to, but because there’s still a lot of passion for baking and creating within me. And it’s time to bring that to the table now. It’s just time.

Love and Light my guys. And please feel free to let me know your favourite sandwiches and bakes. Inspire me! ❤️🙌🏻 x

A Little Audrey’s Update, Setbacks and Always a Life Lesson!

Oh my goodness! Have you guys been feeling the shift in the universe right now?! It’s next level. Every single one of my friends…ok I say that like I have loads but we know that’s certainly not true. I’m a hermit! But it seems like everyone I talk to right now is going through this insane burnout!!! It’s like our minds and hearts cannot cope with the absolute chaos that is happening in the world today. The insane corruption and greed of our government(s), because we know this isn’t only in the U.K. I make a point not to watch the news. I’m not burying my head in the sand, but I’m doing the best I can, and to be reminded that the only motivating force with the elite is of course money…more money than they can ever spend in one lifetime…it wreaks havoc on my soul and thus my mental health…because here we are, the working class…suffering for their ‘sins’. I despise that word but it’s all I got right now 😜

Anyway…Little Audreys has taken waaaay longer than I anticipated. I really wanted to be up and running by March…but there have been a few pricey mistakes along the way, which means the loan I took out had to cover that, (anyone need a generator that can power a whole block of houses? 🙄🙈) and I’m needing to work more to make sure my payments are up to date. So it’s a vicious cycle. I’m not worrying though, because the universe always provides ❤️

Continue reading “A Little Audrey’s Update, Setbacks and Always a Life Lesson!”

Horsebox Conversion…or ‘Little Audrey’ and Salted Caramel Recipe

Wooop, the Horsebox conversion is coming along slowly but surely 😜 I was really trying not to put too much pressure on myself…but that’s just not how this girl works unfortunately 🙈

The cost of the conversion itself has been a bit scary, but because we’re doing most of the work ourselves, it’s definitely saved a lot of money!! I did have to take out a wee loan, but I know it will all be worth it. Because dreams sometimes DO cost a lot of money…but the cost of living with regret for the rest of my life will be far far more than a few thousand pounds. And we are hard workers, so this in itself gives me peace. I feel like the loan dwindled quickly with all the supplies, electrics, generator, pastry cases, sinks, water tanks, decor, etc, etc…This is all adding up very quickly. Seeing all this cash disappearing from my bank account is daunting to say the least 😩 But all good things 🙌🏻❤️

Continue reading “Horsebox Conversion…or ‘Little Audrey’ and Salted Caramel Recipe”

A Wee December Update, Christmas Hampers, and Candles!

So things have been really happening here at Cakes By Carrie-Anne and over at Donut Eat Bakery. Orders have been coming in thick and fast and it’s been exciting! I would usually use the word ‘overwhelming’ here but I’m not!! I started my new ADHD meds last week and it’s like I’m a different woman. The first couple of days were incredibly intense, I was like the energiser bunny! I couldn’t sit down. I powered through cake and candle orders. I deep cleaned my cake room and sorted out and reorganised my cake tool cupboard. I cleaned my house from top to bottom. I was exhausted physically but mentally I couldn’t stop.

A couple of nights ago it was my good friends 40th surprise party so I baked her a cake, plus 3 other orders I had, while Kyle worked on the Horsebox conversion 😍😍😍. These meds have really suppressed my appetite so I hadn’t realised that I hadn’t eaten all day. Maybe a slice of toast…I think. I made the mistake of having a couple of glasses of wine. (Not even!! I left half of the second on the table).Bad move! By 11pm I was at home trying to sleep but the room was spinning. There’s a reason you’re not meant to drink while taking these meds. Lesson learned my loves. Lesson learned 🙈. I’m even on decaf coffee now just to be on the safe side 😜

I’ve deleted my personal Facebook app, (which has helped immensely in terms of the overthinking and honestly it’s just great for my mental health overall. My mind although still all over the place…it’s just more manageable. All the things I overthought or just invested in way too much emotionally and mentally before…it’s like there’s this ‘I just don’t care’ button. But in a good way. Not a numb feeling per se..just a ‘if that’s how it’s/you’re going to be…I don’t care’ the universe has my back. I guess I’m just feeling the self love more. The whole, you can treat me like that..but I have the power to not let it affect me. It’s a pretty wonderful feeling. I’m still busy…but also. In a good way. I hate being busy when there’s no time for me. But lately. It’s been enjoyable. I’m getting goals done that generally take months, because now the ADHD paralysis is almost non existent. I feel like this diagnosis and the meds have saved my life. I’m not worried about the future, my finances, my goals and dreams. Because now. I feel like I can take on the world. And it’s nice. I’m content. And I’m super hopeful that this will last.

So all that being said 😜 I’m offering Christmas Treat boxes for collection on Christmas Eve. The hampers are £30 and will include 2 each of Stollen Bars, Brownies, Shortbread Cookies, Ginger Molasses Cookies, Biscoff Stuffed Cookies, Mince Pies, Sticky Toffee Cupcakes, Rocky Road, Hot Chocolate Bombs, and a wee jar of caramel sauce. I’m also offering my GORGEOUS Pumpkin Spice Cinnamon Roll Boxes for £10 for a box of 6. These are a favourite with my coworkers and they’ve all agreed that I absolutely need to add these to my list of Christmas treats! So I just did 😝 All vegan too of course! If you’re not local, I also have lots of candles available over at Donut Eat Bakery or on my Etsy Shop . If you are local, give me a shout if you prefer to collect and avoid postage charges! There’s a scent for everyone and they make great wee stocking fillers, and secret Santa pressies! Not long now my guys. So get those orders in.

Pumpkin Spice cinnamon rolls with a luscious vegan cream cheese icing!
My most popular candle by far! I can’t keep them in stock! Milk and Cookies Candle with 3 wax melt cookies 🍪

Inner peace and the Horsebox conversion! Squeeee!

These past few months have been touch mentally and emotionally for me. Being diagnosed with ADHD was a huge relief yet also quite heartbreaking. It dawned on me that this is disorder that can’t be cured only maintained so to speak. That kinda terrified me, and it put me in a right weird and dark place. I felt unmotivated, burnt out and just sad.

A few years back when I was going through the Dark night of my soul, I got very intimate with the writing and teachings of authors like Wayne Dyer, Brian Weiss, and like minded writers. These books impacted my life in a huge way. I was starting to feel at peace with my soul, peace with who I wanted to be and who I am, and I was in a state of euphoria. I started to fully surrender to the universe, and things were really starting to look up, my life was good!! So I stopped reading the books, I stopped meditating on a daily basis, stopped taking naps, and eventually just stopped practicing this life that worked so well for me. Because I was fine now! What an absolute idiot…we all know that maintenance is key…for every aspect of our lives. You want your car to run well? Maintenance….your garden to look nice and kept?! why did I think that my life didn’t need to be treated the same🙄🙈

My favourite book of Wayne Dyer is ‘Your Sacred Self; making the decision to be free’ I read it over and over when I was in that very dark place, I’ve bought countless copies and given them to people who I think would get some peace from his work. Then I struggled to get hold of it. I tried to order one a few months back, and the book never arrived. I was worried, because I felt I NEEDED this book back in my life in a bad way. But I left it, then a few nights ago when I was really feeling those awful thoughts creeping in, I managed to find a copy on eBay. It arrived on my birthday. The timing was perfect.

I picked it up last night after a particular emotional few days and I started reading and within minutes, all the words I had almost memorised a few year back, spoke to me in the exact same way. And I felt that feeling of bliss again. The feeling of surrendering to the universe, knowing that everything works in divine timing. Ego is left behind, forgiveness is more easily given, and all the fear, worry, self pity, jealousy, anger etc is left behind. It made me realise that these last few years I’ve forgotten who I endeavoured to be. I want to be free of all these emotions that just weigh me down.

So I unsent messages that don’t serve a higher purpose, you know the needy kind that you feel you need to validate your feelings and emotions? Nope. I’m done being treated like shit. I started forgiving people, forgiving myself, sending everyone all the love I could muster, and just RE realised that only love is real. And we all have a journey, and we don’t need to understand everyone’s life journey. We just need to accept it for what it is. As long as I’m doing the least amount of harm to someone, I will remember who I am, why I’m here. And I will invite spirituality in to my life whole heartedly once again. Of course this will be a work in progress, but I’m definitely trying everyday. And so far so good. That dark cloud has passed, and I’m confident that it won’t return to this level for some time! Because I’m going to do ALLL the maintenance work. Trust in the universe, trust in the process, and everything else will take care of itself ❤️

So I got back to focusing on my Horsebox conversion. I worked on my birthday and I was feeling so shit about just everything, and I asked Kyle that all I wanted was for him to start work on the trailer. And bless is heart, when I got home, he’d got the flooring all laid down and the frame was looking fab! He’s so hard on himself but he did an excellent job! Seeing his progress gave me all the feels again and got me so motivated to get my wee cafe up and running. I’m still working on names my guys! I do want to keep ‘Cakes By Carrie-Anne’ in there….but added something to it? What do you think?! Let me know!!!

I’m off to go buy all the wee bits and bobs that I’m still missing, like the sink, syrup pumps, tongs, milk pitchers etc. Exciting times my loves! I’ll keep you posted on ALLLL the wee updates

Allll the light and love my guys! And be kind. Always be kind. Sometimes our actions cause so much hurt without us even realising…and it’s not ok. We need to do better xx

C x

Dealing with ADD and forgotten cakes…and crazy scary off days

I can’t even begin to tell you the relief I feel just being diagnosed with ADHD. It’s a sense of understanding why I am the way I am…but at the same time, it’s a bit soul destroying as well. Because my brain doesn’t work the same as everyone else’s. It’s a disorder that there is no cure for, and that’s fucking frightening…it means at my age, it’s not going to be something I just grow out of anymore…in fact, I feel like it’s been getting more out of hand in the last few years. And that’s just not ok.

I’ve been reading more about the disorder, and it’s been enlightening to say the least. I was in the bath a few days ago and found myself brushing away tears while reading because of how understood I felt. Finally. The anxiety and depression I felt, stemmed from never understanding why my brain was always in overdrive, why most of my friends just seemed to live life in a somewhat organised manner, but everything in mine was just constant chaos amid feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness, and that I just didn’t fit in with everyone else. The self deprecation just comes naturally and although deep down I know how fabulous I am….it takes a LOT to get past that mental block. It’s no wonder. I failed Grade 9 (Second year in the U.K.) math THREE times. And it’s because I had no interest in it whatsoever. I could real the equation a hundred times over and my eyes would gloss over and I’d be thinking of something else. I don’t ask for directions anymore. When I do, as soon as the person starts talking I just start nodding and saying yes, I know where you mean (do I fuck!) but now there’s no asking them again because I know unless they write it down…I will never know where I’m going.

A tidy room?! Not gonna happen. Well I mean, it does, and no matter how much I want it to stay that way. It’s not going to last. I know this. My husband knows this. It’s infuriating to say the least. The sigh’s, the look of disappointment and anxiety that I cause everyone around me. It’s hard for me to deal with. I take it extremely personally. I’m sick of this disorder affecting my life in such a huge way.

My days turn to shit when I get distracted so easily, one chore leads to the next unfinished chore. Piles of unswept dirt around the house because I’ve gotten distracted going to get the dustpan, children’s school forms never handed in because I keep putting it off, wedding cakes forgotten…oh yeah my guys. This was the big wake up call for me. I’ve still not recovered from this mentally and it happened last weekend. I FORGOT a wedding cake. I knew I had one coming up…but it wasn’t in my diary…and I get that dreaded message…. ‘Have you delivered the cake yet’…ummmmmm. I hustled. I panicked, I almost threw up. Then I baked the cakes. Thankfully one tier was fruit cake…I knew this, so remarkably unlike me, I had baked the cake weeks before…so I had only 2 tiers to make…I had some dummy tiers thankfully in my cupboard…the rest were in storage and there was no way I was going to be able to get them down by myself…so I decorated them, plus the fruit cake while the real cakes were baking. I was working on pure adrenaline. I felt so sick, embarrassed, ashamed, mortified, literally all those feels. I managed to get the cake to the venue, explained my ridiculously unprofessional dilemma to the staff, sent an apology to the bride (not a bridezilla thankfully) and then I got home, and frosted the real cakes and delivered to the venue before the cake was due to be served. So all in all it all worked out…but that’s not the point. The point is this SHOULD’NT happen. This was my breaking point. This is the point where I question ‘what even is the point of living with this constant torture, anxiety and mental frustration. This was the day that I really questioned leaving it all behind…and I haven’t felt that way in 6 months or more. I start my meds next week, so I am hopeful.

I also started a new fitness routine. Exercise is supposed to be a HUGE benefit for people with ADHD…but that it also a vicious cycle in itself…because I get obsessive, and if I eat one ‘wrong’ thing…I need to start back at square one. It’s an 8 week butt camp, just from home. I’ve meal prepped, I’m exercising, and I’m drinking far too much water in my opinion. My accountability partner is ghosting me so that’s made me feel even more unimportant and sad but such is life right? 😒

So now I’m laying in my room, whenever I have these relapses. Candles and incense lit, tidy room, sacred space, safe haven…meditating, journaling, and making me a priority. Because if I don’t…then who will? 🤷🏻‍♀️ but also my guys…ADHD has so many benefits too. Most people with it are very creative, artistic, and inventive thinkers. So there’s always a positive. Just struggling to see it at the moment…that’s all…this too shall pass.

Love and light my guys. We’ll get there.

C xx

My Latest Venture….it’s been a long time coming

Hey my loves! How are we in October already?! This year has flown by. I can’t even!!

Fast forward a year and from the beginning of the pandemic and things are starting to open up…and rental places for a retail space are through the roof expensive. And it’s not a risk that I’m willing to take. Not just now. Not with young kids, a mortgage, car payments etc…so I mention to Kyle that i think a food truck but smaller will be just the ticket. And Kyle, the realist, the practical, man who keeps me grounded kinda guy says ‘Car, I think you’re on to something here’ and this is HUGE for my husband to agree with. He’s not the risk taker, he’s the let’s live comfortably with what we have kinda guy, or let’s save for this endeavour…but guys. We all know that saving takes a very very long time especially when life happens, when the car goes to shit, the freezer packs in, boiler goes berserk, birthday’s, Christmases etc. . So I got bold, and I took out a loan. Nothing that will cripple us, but a loan that would serve our purpose. So I bought a second hand horse box, a van to pull it, I talked with a coffee guy, and an electrician. I bought the paint, I’ve dreamt up a menu…I’ve been testing recipes, and now I’m busy with the plans to get it exactly how I want it. Because my guys, life is too short, and I’m sick of being scared to take the leap all the time!

So ever since I went to pastry school back in my very early 20’s, it was my biggest dream to own and operate my very own bakery. I dreamt of freshly baked bread, pies, tarts, fresh cream cakes and coffees. And every birthday since then I feel this sense of failure when each birthday passes and I still don’t have a bakery. I finally decided enough was enough, and I went in search of a wee place to call my own…then covid happened. And everything was at a standstill. So I got my kitchen re done instead. I saved all my pennies for over a year and got everything I wanted and of course needed…this didn’t mean I was done with my dream of owning a bakery/cafe. It just meant that life goes on. And I was content for the meantime to work on my craft, my candle business, and of course myself. I’m tying not to be too hard on myself as I know what is for me won’t go by me. Through all this I’ve been diagnosed (finally!!) with ADHD (EVERYTHING makes so much sense now) so I’m still getting to grips with starting medication for that etc. I’m excited to start seeing some progress so that I’m not always, constantly, a hot damn mess! I digress.

My wee horse trailer conversion will be the first wee 100 percent vegan beauty of its kind in Inverness…well as far as I’m aware. I’m testing lots of gluten free, dairy free, egg free recipes that of course will be 100 percent vegan. I’ll have a gorgeous coffee machine to make lattes, London Fog’s (a personal favourite) flat whites, cortado’s, pumpkin spice latte’s, espresso’s and every other coffee imaginable! Made with different plant based milks…obviously 😏 And if you’re getting married…I got you covered. Cupcakes and Prosecco! I’ll have my wee trailer for all your dessert needs at your wedding party and of course an alcohol license.

I’m over the moon excited and I get giddy every time I see my horse box parked up outside. (It’s already got a coat of paint in a gorgeous light green) Giddy with realisation that finally!! I get to share with the world…(lil ol Inverness) my passion and love for baking. On a different level. Having freshly baked plant based treats everyday of the week and helping people to discover the gorgeous and infinite possibilities of baking for every allergy, intolerance, personal values, and environmentally friendly way of life, and NEVER compromising on taste. There’s something for everyone, with quality, freshness, and just enjoying the little things in life. So keep a look out for the the gorgeous fluffy pumpkin cinnamon rolls, the raspberry shortbread bars, the gooey brownies, pistachio shortbread, lemon cranberry scones, cupcakes, tarts and more.

Oh man my guys I am so excited!! I will be posting as much as possible with updates etc. I’ve still got a coat of cream paint to put on, then all the writing etc, counters to build, decor to go up!

Thanks for being on this journey with me!! I will hundred percent keep y’all updated on my wee horse box conversion. Tips, suggestions, etc welcome!!

Sending all the love and light my guys 🥰😘