Hey my loves, this is kinda a tough blog to write. Tough in that what I came here to say is more than likely going to have quite a few opinions. And y’all are entitled to your opinions, of course. But to be SO SO respectful and in the kindest way possible… I don’t really want to know them. Because what I’m here to say isn’t to create drama or obtain sympathy. I think it’s important. Important because I…WE need to show other couples going through similar situations….that divorce and separation is TOTALLY doable in a non toxic, beautiful, loving and respectful manner. Not just for the kids…but for EVERYONE involved. Do you guys remember when Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin went through what they called a ‘conscious uncoupling’? I do. And I remember thinking ‘what the HECK is that all about?!’ Turns out, I’m just as hippy ish and New Age as I thought I was 😬😅
Conscious uncoupling is basically looking at a breakup not as a break up per se…but more of a break through. It’s not about blaming each other for what went wrong..but more about cherishing and remembering everything that was beautiful in the marriage. My husband of 8 years (10 together) have decided to separate. We love each other dearly. He’s my best friend, he’s the most amazing father our kids could EVER ask for, and as a husband? He’s not too shabby either. He’s gorgeous, he’s kind and he’s just straight up as perfect as a husband could possibly be. And I know you’re probably thinking ‘so what’s the problem?’ And that’s not the right question. To be honest…I don’t think there is a right question. Also…it doesn’t matter. What matters is that myself and Kyle are in this together. We’re a team, we will continue to raise our children as such, and we’ll be in their live’s every step of the way. Supporting them and one other. This decision hasn’t been easy. It’s been breaking my heart for a LONG time. My head kept saying ‘you are so so lucky, you have EVERYTHING, your life is PERFECT!’ And I prayed, I meditated, I screamed, I cried and I tried to talk myself out of it more times than I want to admit. And in the end, for EVERYONE’S sake. I had to follow my heart. I had to give in because the universe was making it so uncomfortable that my only choice was to choose my family. And by choosing my family I had to choose me. Because I know I’ll be a better mother for it, and the best friend to Kyle that I possibly can be. No it’s not what my ever after looked like when my father walked me down the aisle. When I looked up at my kilted highlander looking so handsome and even a little teary eyed (Kyle disagrees with me here 😉 ) I saw what everyone sees when they get married. I saw the man that I would spend the rest of my life with. Having babies, growing old together. And although that dream is no longer, it doesn’t mean we’re not a family anymore. We’ve not really announced our split. It’s not because we’re ashamed, or scared. People will ALWAYS judge. It’s just because it’s nobody’s business but ours. We have spoken a lot in the last few weeks about what we both want to see come out of this situation. And the bottom line is that we’re doing this separation with love. With integrity, with dignity and without blame. Just love. The same way we went in to this relationship.
Don’t get me wrong…this has not been an easy transition…is it ever?
We’ve gone through the motions. Heartache, grief, anger, more heartache, and then full circle…back to love. And I’m sure there will be days when we’ll be more sad than others, but we’ve also come to a place of being okay with our situation, looking forward to our futures, and always ALWAYS supporting one another. Because that’s who we are. And in the process, we’re going to teach our children that love trumps all. In EVERY situation.
I better touch base on the Cake side of things. During this time, giving up on my career as a Cake artist has never been an option. I’m still taking orders, I’m thriving, and I’m having fun with them again. Just this week I’ve had 4 cakes going out the door and I enjoyed every moment of them…ok I lied…not so much the lorry. Vehicles are just never fun to create in Cake 😅 so there you go guys. Go forward in your life with love, trust that everything will work out for you, and it will. Although it may not seem like it at times, life is short. You’ve got to live it in a place of happiness, in a place of freedom and a place of love. Go do you! Live your best life. We intend to x
